Reply to I feel like marriage is on the verge of imploding

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[quote=Anonymous]We've been together 9 years, married for almost 6. No sex since our only child was conceived almost 4 years ago. My spouse is close with their work friends and I feel shut out. For example, they get home in the evening, sit on the couch, and text their coworkers throughout the evening, until one of us (usually me) puts our child to bed.

I know my spouse is hiding/omitting information about their coworkers from me, but they don't know I know that (accidentally saw something in a text when I glanced over, but I haven't snooped). I've asked roundabout questions and have given my spouse plenty of opportunities to divulge what they don't know I know, but they haven't said anything.

We sleep in separate beds. Sometimes, my spouse locks the door. I'm pretty sure I've walked in on them masturbating. My spouse has also acted weird and embarrassed about their dirty sheets.

My spouse says "I love you" regularly, but I don't feel (in my heart of hearts) that they deeply love or like me. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around my spouse and don't know how to express my serious concerns about our sexless marriage and my resentment of their closeness with their coworkers without it turning into an ugly discussion. I'm so sad because we have an amazing child and we're both children of divorce who agreed we weren't going to go through that again when we got engaged. I'm also crushed because I want another child, which seems like it's not going to or even should happen given the state of our marriage.[/quote]

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