Reply to So if you’re not in a “deep love” marriage...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Find other sources of contentment. It's healthier, actually, I think.

I have a hard time understanding how one person could be the partner equivalent of "all things to all people." Frankly, the guys I felt most head-over-heels for were deeply problematic in other ways!

So I get a lot from my husband. He makes me laugh, and we have shared values. And we love our kids. But I'm not over the moon for him, and he knows he's not my "best friend." He's just a really good guy that I can live with, have good sex with, and raise children with.

Sounds awful to say this, but I also know that if a tragedy happened and he was no longer in my life, I'd be devasted for a time but would also be able to continue living. [/quote]

I am in a deep love marriage.

I would say this poster is correct and I would not tear up your life in search of something you may never find. I think it is luck that leads us to these relationships. My marriage is amazing and profound but I have plenty of other things in my life that are hard and difficult and less than ideal. Maybe you have something I don't and would love to have OP.

Life is big and complicated and multifaceted. I have had people in my life die that I would trade my relationship with my husband to get back. Being deep in love doesn't mean being completely codependent though PP. I could survive if he died. It would be horrible and traumatic and I would always love him. It would leave a hole in my heart that would never quite heal. But I would go on and live and be happy again. [/quote]

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