Reply to adopting a child who is the product of rape

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[quote=Anonymous]My guess is that there are far more birth mothers whose  babies who were conceived consensually, but who do not want the birth father to know about the baby, than mothers who were raped, brought the baby to term, and gave it up.

Presumably, if the mother says she was raped, that frees the government agencies involved from having to seek the father out and getting his consent for the adoption.

I can think of all kinds of reasons for wanting to leave the dad out of the picture. Maybe he's married. Maybe he might want the baby, but is unfit to raise it. Maybe the mom is angry with the father and can't bear the idea of him raising the baby. Maybe there is more than one possible dad. How embarrassing for a young girl to have to admit that. Maybe the birth mom wants to put the trauma of giving up the baby behind her and thinks that if the dad finds out, he'll tell people, and she'll be stigmatized.

If I were a teen in one of the above situations, I might conclude that the easiest thing to do was to say I was raped. Voila, everyone is sympathetic instead of judgmental and pushing for info.

I agree with the poster who said to make the decision when your child is older. You will know what to do when the time comes.[/quote]

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