Reply to Husband won't look for a higher-paying job

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, do you make the same as he does? If you don't, your opinion doesn't matter much, he's carrying more of the load.[/quote]

I don't actually agree with you, but he's about $30,000 higher.  Also, which load are you talking about?  I carry the kid load, with no complains, because my flexible job means that we do not need to worry about sick kids or snow days or the random days off.  Not sure how we would handle all that if my new job means a longer commute like he does.  I guess we'd have to pay to outsource it.[/quote]

So he isn’t very busy, is bored at work, and is making 30K more than you?  He may be worried about not only finding a job but performing well in a more demanding environment.  It’s like I can make 80K bored and could do this job in my sleep or spend all this time looking for a new job, making 20K more but working 50% more and have to be worried about keeping my job if there are budget cuts since I’m the last one hired.

OP, you may have  made similar tradeoffs with your job for the flexibility.  I know I’ve stayed doing something, that while wasn’t boring, I had been doing 15 years and could do well in part for the flexibility but also a bit of fear of being out of my comfort zone and not knowing if would still be a start performer.  For me the push was seeing ambitious people come in, get promoted, micromanage me, and I’m still low on the totem pole with not much autonomy,without the promotion/money acknowledgment and getting more worked added to my plate. At that point it was worth the risk to get out of the revolving door of supervisors.  I don’t know that money alone would have done it because you never know till you get there if the new job will be worse.  And you risk whatever stability you have now if the new place doesn’t work out.  Honestly I would look to see if we could cut expenses, have a real discussion about what’s concerning him about a possible job move, and discuss if he would be able to take over more kid activities if you, OP went for a higher paying jobs.[/quote]

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