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[quote=Anonymous]My mom passed away when I was in my early 20s.  When I was about 30, my dad remarried a very nice woman, who was divorced.   She has two kids, who are 8-10 years younger than me- they were in college/just graduating when our parents married.  I wouldn't say we are close, but I care about them, and enjoy seeing them at family events.

Their father passed away ~4 years ago.

My stepmother passed away shortly after being diagnosed with lung cancer this spring (diagnosed 1st week in Feb, died 1st week in March).   This was a big surprise to everyone.  Other than a "cold that wouldn't go away" from Thanksgiving on, my stepmother was always healthy and active.

My dad on the other hand, is going to be 80 in a few months and is clearly slowing down.

We're just barely past the funeral and paperwork and getting back to life, so my dad, my step-siblings and I have spent a lot of time together lately.

What sort of relationship should I expect between my dad and my step-siblings going forward?  (I'm planning to directly ask them how they want to be involved going forward, but also want some idea of what to expect.)

Here's the real question:

When my dad married my stepmom, she moved into the house I grew up in.  My dad still lives there.  Once they married, they started a Christmas tradition of taking a trip, just the two of them every other year (when my step-siblings spent Christmas with their father).  On alternate years, we all had Christmas at their house, but they, rightfully so, established new Christmas traditions.  All of my mom's Christmas stuff is still packed away in the basement.

I expect this will be our last Christmas in my childhood home- we will likely look to move my dad to an assisted living situation- or at least someplace with no stairs and less need to drive.

I want to have one last Christmas hoorah with my mom's decorations and our childhood traditions.  I would love for my kids to experience that.  My kids are teens, but I think I could get them into it.

I would definitely invite my step-siblings, but is it awful to change the tradition and go back to my mom's stuff for our last Christmas in the house?   Or even mix in a lot of my Mom's stuff/traditions and try to compromise?

Should I even expect they would want to go to Christmas with their stepfather, without their mother there?  Or invite them to dinner, and not expect they will be there for the whole shindig?

Anyone have any relevant experience or thoughts?
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