Reply to Expose details of the affair to the other woman’s (AP) husband?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'll try to be brief... it's been about 5 months since my husband told me about an emotional affair with a friend/colleague (he no longer works with). Well, it was slightly physical (long hugs, she tried to kiss him, spent a lot of time together after work at bars). We're trying to work through this...he was an alcoholic (has stopped drinking completely since then), he's trying really hard to mend our marriage and I'm trying to figure out if I can forgive him but in the meantime, I go back and forth about telling the details of what I know to the AP's (affair partner) husband. I already went to their house the night I found out and confronted her and basically told her to stay away (her husband was in another room). Then I sent her husband an e-mail that he should be aware of what went on between his wife and my husband and that she needs to stay away from my family. He wrote back "So much to unpack here, but [b]it would be to little benefit, so no reason to get into the details[/b].  Bottom line, I regret the loss to know such great people such as yourselves, but certainly, we'll respect your wishes. Truly and sadly, farewell to you both"  I thought that was a weird response but I wonder if I can/should write him back, months later, and share all the details of what I know now...the length of the affair (1 year), the long hugs whenever they saw each other after work they would drink together and he would walk her to her car which is where the long hugs happened, etc), all the text messages that showed affection between them and many of his wife pursuing my husband for additional nights out, drinking. It's often on my mind to make him aware since I think his wife probably didn't tell him the whole story. Should I e-mail him?

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OP, he has made it clear that he does not want to get into the details with you. It's between him and his wife. You need to deal with your own husband and your own feelings on the matter. Focus on your own marriage or your own divorce, whichever way you choose to go. Respect this man's wishes that he already communicated you to not discuss the details with you.[/quote]

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