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[quote=Anonymous]Hi,  the active duty husband has gotten orders for a post that is over 1K miles away from Washington DC.

Currently, we both have 50/50 custody.  We both have at least 1 sibling in the house (I have three), both parents are remarried and both households are good households.  I, the mom, typically initiates research and figures out options regarding schools, activities, doc choices and decisions, etc. but the whole group is involved in the final decision making.  There are communication and mistrust issues for both actual parents so it is not an ideal situation, but we can usually figure things out peacefully.

My child is 13.  I figure, given the equality between the two houses, any court decision will likely consider heavily what her preference is and why (i.e. stay or go) in determining whether the move is in her best interest.  She has indicated to me she wants to go with me.  Of course I want that too, but what I really want is what is best for her.  Her dad will want her to stay and will think that is best for her.  Neither of us are objective, obviously.

I am considering suggesting that we engage a psychologist specializing in this type of evaluation to help her through the situation and to make a recommendation as to what they think would be the right situation for her, all things considered.  That way she doesn't have to discuss why she wants to stay or go with either parent and is not made to feel like she has to answer for her choice to either, etc.

Although I do want her to come with me, my ultimate desire is to figure out what is best for her overall, irrespective of that.

I am curious whether anyone has had to deal with this and what you did to figure out how to go forward?  Me staying is not an option so we've got to figure something out and I'd prefer not to go to court.

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