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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sometimes escape is all you can do, so ignore the harpies, OP.

I'd suggest your brother talks to a divorce lawyer. Then discuss his plans with his wife. She deserves a chance to say yay or nay as far as the family move. But maybe he just wants to leave, then he should say so. After talking to a freaking lawyer![/quote]

[b]Harpies?  Jesus, if leaving the country with less than a week's notice is "all you can do," then you are a seriously screwed up person.  If OP's brother wants to leave his family, no one can stop him, but the method he's proposing is so unnecessarily cruel to his kids that I question his fundamental decency as a human be[/b]ing.  [/quote]

"Escape" is what you do if you're being abused and need to flee.

This guy wants to run away like a child, not escape a dangerous or truly toxic situation. OP, your brother is immature beyond belief. An adult would not abandon his family. And yes, this would be abandonment in every sense except maybe financially, if he continues to pay the bills for his wife and kids.

OP, if you support him in this, don't expect to see your nieces/nephews again, if that matters to you.

Tell him he is being a child and not a man, and if he has issues in his marriage, he needs to choose--stay put and work on them, or man up and tell his wife clearly and up front that he wants to divorce,  so she has some opportunity to deal with that fact--emotionally, legally, logistically. Even if he hates her guts, he should give her that opportunity because, you know, CHILDREN.

Does he hate his children? Because that's all they'll remember -- dad must sure have hated us to disappear like that. He and his abandoned wife can say all they want that "It's not your fault," but children internalize these things and very often blame themselves. Hard. That happens even in carefully planned and amicable divorces, OP. Imagine how the kids will feel in a sloppy, unplanned, mean separation like your brother wants.

If you also think that only "harpies" think your brother is an immature, self-centered idiot setting himself up to be a horribly damaging father, well, I'm a harpy. [/quote]

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