Reply to Gah, mom doesn't listen!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the emotional component is about a lot more than it seems.  [b]Does she discount your needs and opinions in other ways?[/b]

As far as what to do wrt gifts, either decide in advance to let it go (and don’t bother giving her a list), or see if you can talk her into spending money on something the family can do together, such as taking you all to the movies when she visits.[/quote]

Yes!  When I was in jr high and my friends did something that upset me, instead of talking to me about it or even saying I'm sorry that happened, she said "Why don't you walk the dog?"  If I told her something that I thought was private, she'd tell everyone (relatives, friends) and let me know what they thought.  It got to the point where I stopped telling her personal things b/c I couldn't trust that she wouldn't share the news, even if I asked her not to.  When I had to have emergency surgery or even tell her about the infertility struggles we're having, she'd start saying how she or so-and-so went through something similar, which wasn't helpful at the time.  It just felt dismissive.  It sucks b/c I know she cares, but we aren't close, not like others who say "Oh my mom is my BF".[/quote]

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