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[quote=Anonymous]I have written before, people will id me....about a problem going on for years.

Here we are in 2018.  DD is having real problems...suicidal at times, cutting...in an intensive therapy program.  The problem is largely my wife will not let her grow up -- she is terrified of something bad happening.  All of her energy goes to trying to protect our DD -- who is now 16.  It has for many years, with small hiccups when I got sick 6 years ago.

Right before I got sick, I was in the process of preparing to separate.  We were in a marriage where our sex life consisted of saying FU in the hallway, and not in a good way.  There was no intimacy.  The reason why I did not leave is the helicoptering was harming our DD, I could see it.  I wanted to leave, but also wanted to protect my 10 yo DD.  Then I got sick, with a bad prognosis.  I figured, there was no reason to spend the money on divorce since I was probably going to die anyway.  I did not, and medical advances are indicating that there is a normal life span.

So now, as predicted by the forum, my dd, nearly 16, is f****d up.  She does not do drugs, but cuts, and is periodically suicidal.  She has been in a 3 day a week 3 hour a day therapy (after school) to help her get through the crisis. And has a love-hate relationship is my wife.  Last week, we had a family meeting with one of the therapists.  The therapist told my wife, under no uncertain terms, that she needs to get help/support for herself to help our dd.  She has not made any phone calls yet.  The therapist said that the conflict between my wife and I (and my wife and DD) are one of the primary things creating the environment where DD is harmed.

How can I get DW to take the action?

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