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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can't change him. He has to change himself, and be committed to that change for the sake of your marriage. It doesn't matter if you'll be bonded together through your children forever. If he is not in the relationship entirely, you're going to be climbing back onto a sinking ship. It's too early, with three months sobriety, in my opinion. I'm an alcoholic. I've also been sober for three months. I know not to put myself in a position that will stress me to the point where I am thinking of drinking again. You have to take care of yourself first, and heal. Then assess the situation.  [/quote]

I'd normally agree with this but in this is a case of a marriage that includes children.

There's nothing that says that a married couple can't recover together and tbh I thought that was what marriage is all about - to be there for each other. I agree with setting boundaries and rules and to put your self recovery above all else of course, but the notion that you do it alone in a vacuum and then try to reconcile afterwords doesn't seem like the only solution. I think that you can be in recovery and work on your marriage at the same time - but taking your time.[/quote]

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