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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ugh! My sympathies. My MIL is also a narcissist and it's terrible. Whatever you decide, consider whether you want to broach your new strategy with your DH first. [b]Will he back you up if you stop facilitating visits to IL?[/b] I totally get the impulse to back away because that's what I would want to do too.

My MIL doesn't live close by (thx god), but when we do visit, I do the same thing as the other posts - I am present but don't talk much with her nor do I like to volunteer information. Instead I focus on the kids and kind of tune her out. If she starts bitching or being unreasonable I just get up and leave the room.

I'm sorry, she sounds like a piece of work. It's tough to navigate when DH still loves mom unconditionally (as does mine), but hopefully there's a way for you to step back a bit. Maybe DH needs to plan more of the visits with his IL, not you.

[/quote]
I brought this up to him and he wasn’t very receptive, but it was all still so raw. I simply refuse to fascilitate these visits anymore, at least for the time being, especially knowing she is now playing the victim and pretend they didn’t even happen.[/quote]

OP I am the poster with same kind of MIL. You have to remember that it is his mother. She is the reason he is here and she raises him well enough for you to love him. You don't have to love MIL however I think you should make at least a little effort not to make this situation too dramatic. I treat mine like a not very smart person. She says unbelievable nasty stuff and doesn't even understand that it's not normal. Like few weeks ago our friend was fired and she said :"oh good I never liked him". When we both rolled our eyes in surprise, she said :"oh!"[/quote]

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