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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to go back to counseling and work on your communication skills.  You need rules and boundaries to keep from spiraling like this.

That said, you opened with admitting that your fights devolve into anger "and sometimes violence," you said you don't want to be screaming at each other around your kid, but you think the real problem is her removing herself from the fight?  I think it sounds like the healthiest detail in your entire post.

The way you describe fights you're both doing the same things (getting defensive, accusing the other of the same behavior you're participating in, getting angrier instead of defusing, going on the attack, etc.) and the only difference in how you process these fights is her leaving the scene.  Is it the very best way a fight can be defused?  Absolutely not.  But neither of you have the emotional maturity to defuse fights otherwise, so you should thank your lucky stars she's doing *something* to defuse before you reach the level of "sometimes violence."[/quote]

+1 not much else matters if you guys can't disagree without making sure it never ends up being violent.  [/quote]

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