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[quote=Anonymous]Despite trying to let go and find peace about this, I'm increasing resentful.  DH and I blended families (2 each from previous marriage).  Met each other several years after divorces.  All 4 kids are with us more than our respective ex's.  Each of us has a clear divorce and parenting agreement, including about financial issues.  My ex and I split expenses per the agreement.

My DH, however, covers nearly everything for his kids (in addition to doing virtually all parenting). She has never paid the child support ordered and he has no interest in pursuing it.  She is also supposed to pay a certain percentage of all additional expenses (kids' health insurance, medical/dental expenses, etc.). She has paid almost nothing, never what she is supposed to, and complains mightily about anything she does pay.  In the last year we about $5K in out of pocket medical/dental expenses for DH's kids and more coming.  He does not want to ask his ex to pay any of it (let alone the amount ordered) because "it's not worth the stress" and "she gets upset."

I try not to think of it this way, but when these things happen, I feel as though I'm subsidizing the ex.  She works full-time and earns a lot less than us but spends all of it on herself--traveled to Europe, hair done frequently, mani/pedi, goes out a lot, etc.  She's an idiot because she brags about it to us.  If she were in financial distress I would feel differently.  She's just making her choices.  She has mental illness (bipolar and borderline personality disorder) and very difficult to deal with. Sees herself the victim.

I'm fine with waiving child support but I'd like DH to ask his ex to cover at least some of her portion of the kids' big expenses.  We aren't going into debt. I earn 2/3 of our combined income, though, and because his child expenses are so high, I end up covering more of our joint expenses (mortgage, etc.) than we'd previously discussed, and it's meant not going on a planned vacation for my kids.[/quote]

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