Reply to My fiance died recently in a car accident

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m sorry, op. You need to look out for you right now. Don’t read any more texts or emails. You have enough to cope with. [/quote]

My fiance used to tell me all the time that when he was in a position to move off his parents' property that he wanted me to write his mother a letter describing in detail all the grief he caused both of us. He wanted to write the whole family off. There are times when I think I should do this because it was his wish. But I am just overcome with grief at the moment. Should I do it one day? I have so many mixed emotions. I feel like they didn't even respect what his wishes would have been in death. He would have wanted me at his memorial front and center. I begged his mother to let me help plan something. I even offered to pay for it. She acts like her grief is so much worse than mine. His family treated him like garbage. He was the scapegoat. He always told me about horrible memories of abuse he had at the hands of his parents. [/quote]

OP again. That was meant to say "all the grief SHE caused both of us" (not he). Although his father was also horrible at times. [/quote]

No, op. You need to walk away and let the past be in the past. He wouldn’t want you to engage in their toxicity. He would want you to move forward and be happy. Engaging with them will not bring you happiness

[/quote]
I agree with you to a point, but I feel like I want them to know what pain they caused him during his life. He always told me he wanted me to do this one day when he was finally out of there and living away from them. I don't mean that I would do it now or anytime soon. I want them to know the pain they caused him. I want them to know how they disrespected what his final wishes would have been. They are so toxic. But in their minds they think they are totally normal and nice people. [/quote]

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