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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I found my entire paternal family this way-(DNA) I was adopted. Yes, apparently I was also the product of an affair, which I already knew. Many siblings live maybe 45 minutes from me, but I will not be contacting them.

I am already in contact with the maternal side....well before the DNA capabilities. I had to talk to them to find out and confirm the data I was finding. They were very helpful. We have a mild relationship as if we are all acquaintances. I have not pushed anything. We come from different cultures, and while I find our similarities interesting and amusing, I do not think of them as family. They do not think of me as family.

I am glad to know who I am, and very, very gratetful for the information. But here's the thing- this really had nothing to do with any of them, and you are (me too) a giant piece of information that no one really needs. We are an intrusion into the narrative  of their life and family. If they are nice people, they will be cordial, but that's it-do not expect real relationships. I know this person is your sister, but you were not raised with her, you won't relate to much with each other, and they owe you nothing in terms of a relationship or anything. If it was an actual parent, I can understand that you would want some answers  from them, and you have the right to that. However, even then, your bio parents do not owe you a relationship.  I am not trying to be mean, but it is the truth.

I think it is important to know who you are and how you got here. Don't let any negative inforamtion inform your opinion of your life, who you are,  or your future. You are you- they were them- no matter what they did or didn't do vis a vis your life.  Social mores were quite different over the years, and  social behavior responded in kind.

You are your own unique individual- with a non- traditional background.

Good luck, OP.[/quote]

Yeah, you are probably right. The only issue is that my dad and her mom are really old and I am pretty sure that I am the last family she has. But I am going to give her space. [/quote]

Probably best to leave it up to her- you may be surprised  later on, or not.[/quote]

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