Reply to DW can't manage or handle her aging dad.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I did it for years and more or less held it together, sometimes less than more. The emotional exhaustion is very real. Then it just took it's toll. I crashed HARD. Meds and time off work were needed. I had no choice but to pull back from the care giving and emotional abuse. [b]So I did pull back for my own well being and the well being of my immediate family[/b]. Crappy part is the pull back started about 6 months ago, and recently my parent passed away. I was still involved weekly with care and when possible a call daily, but many boundaries were put in place. Now there is guilt for pulling back, even though I know it needed to be done. Life is complicated sometimes. [/quote]

How do I communicate the burden and effect that this is having on me, the spouse? DW is so stressed and snaps when I bring up that this is taking a toll on me/us. She thinks I am being selfish and tone deaf. Truth be told, I am approaching my breaking point. [/quote]

You are being selfish and tone deaf. She is the one who is going through her father aging/dying, and she needs your support. To the extent it's taking a toll on you as well and you need support, you need to look outside to a friend or relative for support and not ask her to take care of you as well as her dad. This is your time to step up and be there for her, not the other way around.[/quote]

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