Reply to DW can't manage or handle her aging dad.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I did it for years and more or less held it together, sometimes less than more. The emotional exhaustion is very real. Then it just took it's toll. I crashed HARD. Meds and time off work were needed. I had no choice but to pull back from the care giving and emotional abuse. [b]So I did pull back for my own well being and the well being of my immediate family[/b]. Crappy part is the pull back started about 6 months ago, and recently my parent passed away. I was still involved weekly with care and when possible a call daily, but many boundaries were put in place. Now there is guilt for pulling back, even though I know it needed to be done. Life is complicated sometimes. [/quote]

How do I communicate the burden and effect that this is having on me, the spouse? DW is so stressed and snaps when I bring up that this is taking a toll on me/us. She thinks I am being selfish and tone deaf. Truth be told, I am approaching my breaking point. [/quote]

Seriously?  You can't support her in this?  Are we talking about an ongoing chronic issue or her father's end of life?  What toll is this taking on you?  If she snaps at you, you know it's not personal; let it roll off your back because you know the strain she is under.  It sounds like you are adding to her stress and it's certainly not your place to decide how she should handle this or that she should outsource it.  Caring for my mom at the end of her life was a thankless and extraordinarily difficult job but I wouldn't have wanted to be the type of person who outsourced the care when my mom needed me.  Sometimes you just do what you have to do.[/quote]

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