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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am currently in therapy with my husband, thinking we were committed on working on our relationship. Our therapist has made suggestions on things we can try- he sits on the couch and nods, but then refuses when we go home. He also sees her separately (I don't). I'm a pretty emotional person and I've been a bit distraught over the fact that he won't implement her ideas. One example, he won't sit and hold my hands- setting a timer for 4 minutes- so we can feel "connected". Today she suggested that I should try medication because I'm so upset over all this. I'm just confused- I'm married to a person that is repulsed by the idea of holding my hands, and I should be medicated so what, I can numb myself and be OK with not having been touched in over a year?

To me that seems crazy, but I might be losing my grip with reality here. I'd prefer not to take any medication (not even sure what kind she it talking about), but does this seem right? I am willing to do anything to not rip apart my kids' world, but is it a good idea to numb myself so that I am content in a loveless marriage? 10 years ago I would have slapped myself across the face for even considering this... but maybe...??[/quote]

Couples therapy should consist of each of you having individual appointments plus the joint appointments. You need to unpack the evolution of how you got to this place with a third party.  you also need to tell your side of things in a safe environment. Right now, said therapist is only hearing about things from your spouse and your joint appts. Hope he isn't gaslighting and lying a lot.

Is she aware that your spouse won't work on what you are both supposed to work on?  sounds like his head and heart aren't in it. [/quote]

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