Reply to MIL's 70th birthday - Would it be rude of me...?

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[quote=Anonymous]My mother-in-law lives in the South, along with her two other children (different state) and husband. She is turning 70 in August. My husband (her son) and I have 3 kids, who are the only grandkids on that side of the family. MIL really loves the grandkids and wants to spend her birthday with them, which she has done the last few birthdays by coming up to visit us for her special day. For her 70th, I let it be known to my SIL, BIL, and husband that I did not want to host the birthday party at my house because of the pressure of being in charge of this milestone birthday party. I am a SAHM and have always handled family celebrations.

SIL, BIL, and husband all think it's best to have it in my house bc it's what my MIL would want most, it saves us the expense and hassle of traveling with kids, it's overall cheaper for everyone, and my house is the most spacious. They are all pressuring me to host it at my house and are all promising to do the bulk of the work. But I just know how it will turn out... they will put out pizza, crap cake, and paper plates and call it a day. I know that I will see this and step in with something more extravagant because I will feel responsible (since it's my house) for not celebrating MIL's 70th in style. Also, I would still have to get the house ready to have MIL, FIL, SIL, SIL's husband, and BIL all stay at our house during this long birthday weekend (Labor Day).

I really don't want to do this and already feeling resentful that I would be the one putting in most of the work for a party to celebrate a non-blood relative. The SIL and BIL have not even considered hosting the party at their homes, which are also in the South and closer to MIL. We would happily fly there and stay at a hotel, too.

So, I found a 5 day yoga retreat at the same time as the birthday festivities about 3 hours away. Would it be unforgivably rude of me to be "on retreat" instead of hosting my in-laws that weekend? The weekend could go on as planned with everyone, except me. So if they celebrate with pizza on paper plates, I won't see it or care.

My husband has already given me his blessing, but I am concerned that my in-laws would be very hurt. Should I do it?[/quote]

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