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[quote=Anonymous]My wife and I have been together for 20 years and have 2 teenagers. We have been through tough periods in the past, including some rocky years after our first kid was born. At the time, I was probably emotionally abusive and easily lost temper in some situations, however we never contemplated separation and kept on going.

Four years ago, I went to see a therapist over my alleged temper issues -- because my wife said that temper was the issue (because of my upbringing and the like) -- but the therapist quickly diagnosed that all the problems were with the couple not with my temper, and seeing him over the course of several months seemed to make matters betters. Sex life --- one of my greatest complaints -- became slightly better, I learned to control the "temper" episodes --- which were my wife's greatest issue ---, and the relationship seemed on a better course --- my wife's temper episodes did not disappear, but I could live with them.

However, in the last few months all these issues seem to have resurfaced. My wife has slowly grown upset with me for all the bad things that happened 5 or 10 or 15 years ago, sex has stopped, and she says that we can stay together for the good of the kids, but does not want to be touched, kissed, or have sex. She says that the issue is that I never loved her, not my temper, and that I never appreciated her for who she is and for all that she did. Such behavior has been going on for about three months now (we probably had sex once or twice during this period, the last time probably a month ago, but it felt like a quick and loveless affair and did not make things better afterwards). We live like roommates, we hardly have arguments anymore simply because we treat each other like coworkers, and my wife says she is fine with this until kids get to college, while I feel like I am in a hopeless situation. I still love her, for what is worth, since in recent conversations I have to endure insults and contempt.

How normal is this, and how does it end? I want us to stay together, and am trying to convince her to go see a therapist, but I feel like I am living in an endless nightmare.[/quote]

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