Reply to My Teen tells us and his friends that he is 'depressed and a mess'

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Does anyone else think that this is a pretty good description of .... life itself... and OP's teen is just growing up and realizing it?

The term "depressed and a mess" is hyperbole but no wonder he's using it, as it seems to be in vogue now for everyone to complain about everything.

Two generations ago, our grandparents would have been told to get back to your chores and quit complaining. And they did. And they also recognized earlier in age that life is not an endless chase for "happiness" and "feeling good."  We all get down sometimes, OP, including your son. What is different now is that these "feelings" have been elevated to the point of major relevance in our everyday lives.[/quote]

Yep. This. I find it amazing that generations of folks before us survived -- tons of responsibilities at home; no real ability to go to college unless your parents were rich (and yes many wanted to - even if they could go down to the factory and get a good job, that's not what they wanted in their 16 yr old mind - most 16 yr old boys in the 60s dreamt of studying engineering and working for NASA in the space race, few could afford 4 yr college to make that happen); drafted into the military against their will; didn't have every luxury at home and knew that asking their parents did not mean they'd get it . . . etc. And yet our snowflakes feel like they are "a mess" -- why exactly -- bc they don't have one BFF?? GTFO. Bet you he's "down" bc he's looking at his classmates "perfect" lives on insta -- dinners with girlfriends; driving their own luxury cars; luxury vacations with family -- and thinking he doesn't compare . . . . Put down the phone and the majority of these problems go away.[/quote]

I think a lot of problems our parents and grandparents have were just swept under the rug. My MiL has intense anxiety, doesn’t leave her home town ever. Been like that since she was a late teen, never saw a therapist. She’s missing out on so much by never treating her issues. My mom clearly has ADHD and grew up in a family of life is hard so suck it up, any therapy is for weirdos. She’s really smart but has had mediocre jobs her whole life and will retire with not a lot to her name because of her disorganization. We know more now, silly not to take advantage of resources.[/quote]

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