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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "When would you/did you confront SO about cheating? The aftermath if you’re wrong? "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP. Someone asked why I was suspicious. A growing lack of interest in the family and in me, seeming startled when I come in to a room quietly and SO is on phone texting. None of that in and of itself really means anything, I get that. Perhaps our marriage is just falling apart of its own without cheating. But then I received a text that made no sense coming to me about being a little late and how SO would rather have extra time with “you”. I sent a “?” Response and the explanation I got didn’t make sense either. That’s when I got really worried/suspicious. I suppose I’m hoping that our relationship is “just” in a dead spot and we can sort through it. I’ve been trying to figure out all my emotions and how I want to discuss that, and would like to have a conversation about it. But if part of our problems is SO is cheating, well then it’s a different conversation. [/quote] Really, sorry, but he is definitely cheating. Start by getting a copy of the cellphone bill and carefully go through all text phone numbers and see who he was actually texting right before after he sent you that text. Also see what kind of pattern there is in communicating by text overall. Other things to keep track of -- credit card statements, ATM withdrawals, car mileage, computer history, etc. I caught my husband initially completely by accident. But, once I started looking at these things a full and undeniable picture of what he was doing came out. It was a huge benefit to me to find out the truth. Incredibly sad but empowering at the same time. Had I left myself at his mercy by putting myself in a position of asking him and relying on him to tell me the truth, he would have strung me along for years longer. The problem is that people who cheat lie by nature. It is exceedingly rare that they can change that habit. While you are looking for evidence, get a good attorney as well and get advice about divorce/custody/child support and start documenting all financial accounts and assets, both yours and his and joint. [/quote]
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