Reply to When would you/did you confront SO about cheating? The aftermath if you’re wrong?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP.   Someone asked why I was suspicious.  A growing lack of interest in the family and in me, seeming startled when I come in to a room quietly and SO is on phone texting.  None of that in and of itself really means anything, I get that. Perhaps our marriage is just falling apart of its own without cheating.  But then I received a text that made no sense coming to me about being a little late and how SO would rather have extra time with “you”.   I sent a “?” Response and the explanation I got didn’t make sense either.  That’s when I got really worried/suspicious.

I suppose I’m hoping that our relationship is “just” in a dead spot and we can sort through it.  I’ve been trying to figure out all my emotions and how I want to discuss that, and would like to have a conversation about it. But if part of our problems is SO is cheating, well then it’s a different conversation.  [/quote]

He's cheating. I know this as a married person with a married AP. We both realized our phone use and secretiveness about it were becoming red flags and got more careful about texting and emailing with spouses present. Both spouses confronted us about being distant and we both apologized and doubled down on family time.

Being distant in and of itself just happens. Being connected to the phone instead means there's someone on the other end of those texts.

We've never had a text ooos.  I avoid this by having AP on Signal and spouse on regular text.

You spitted cheating behavior but you need more before confronting.   [/quote]

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