Reply to My Teen tells us and his friends that he is 'depressed and a mess'

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "My Teen tells us and his friends that he is 'depressed and a mess'"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I don't see it,  I see occasional moodiness. I've googled every single teen depression symptom page, I think. He looks forward to events in the future. I see him smiling while texting people, he attends parties and comes home talking about whatever sort of event it was, he argues with his little brothers.  He laughs, he eats, does his schoolwork, does well in school. He participates in an extracurricular that he likes but he complains about the instructor this year. He has many friends and is invited to social events. He does not have a best friend, he never has, but he has some good friends. Sometimes those friends change. I have noticed that other kids come to him when they're fighting with their closest friends and he's their confidant. Unfortunately, when they're done fighting with their closest friends, they go back to them and my DS becomes second best again. He doesn't mention it but I'm sure he notices.

Despite all the positive interactions I see, he identifies himself as being a 'mess and depressed.' He doesn't think he is majorly depressed, he just says that everything is fine and then something will happen that gets him down. It might be friends disagreeing that is bothering him, it might be a group project that is not going well, or it could be (what he sees as a ) lousy rehearsal. I see that he'll dwell on it for a bit and then will get over it and be back to his laughing happy self. He still participates in all of his school and social activities for the half day, day, whatever it is that he's dwelling on whatever the issue is. A good day with friend will make him forget what was wrong. He may or may not go back to worrying about it. I haven't seen anything really drag on though. None of this happens with any regular or constant frequency.

He refuses to talk to a counselor. He thinks he don't need one. I'm not positive he needs one, but I also think he might find it a relief to hear what he is experiencing is normal. He doesn't accept that opinion from me:/  I took him to our PCM a few months ago and he did not identify any significant depression. He didn't  even identify him as mildly depressed. I don't see this as my kid saying this to be manipulative. He's not saying it to get something or get out of something....More of a 'well once they figure out what a mess I am they'll run.' Hahaha kind of thing. Only it's not funny to me, it's worrisome.

We've talked a lot about how things get us down sometimes and we snap back. It's normal. Everyone experiences that. It doesn't make you 'depressed.' It's not actual clinical depression, just part of being a normal, feeling person. Its when you can't let go or when you can't stop thinking about it over an extended period that it is a problem. I think he just feels things deeply, and worries that there's something abnormal about it. I wish he was more confident!

Anyone else's teen like this? What did you do to help? What more can I do? I feel like this is just growing up and finding yourself but I don't want to get it wrong![/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics