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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think this depends more on the demographics of the specific community than on the coast. For instance, we live in the inner SF East Bay (Oakland/Berkeley). Most families with school-aged kids in our city are dual income, and most have both parents working 80-100% time. Play dates and gatherings are usually on the weekends. The few people I know who do SAH have a set of friends they connect with during the week, but it's a small subset of their respective neighborhoods. In contrast, we have friends in Piedmont and Fremont who have significant weekday social lives around their kids. The friend in Piedmont had a weekday mid-afternoon birthday party (which I certainly remember from when I was a kid, but have never, ever encountered in my kids' circles--always weekends!) Fremont still has half-day kinder and the friends there meet up with their kids' classmates for lunch and playdates most afternoons. I have no idea what the kids whose parents work full-time do, but I'm sure there are some and presumably they go to aftercare and aren't invited to these playdates, and certainly their parents don't have the opportunity to meet and connect with other families during this time. I think it makes a difference if that's the minority of kids vs. the majority of kids (and I'm sure it's strongly correlated with wealth and ability to SAH during those years, at least given current Bay Area housing costs--families we know with a SAHP all either bought during the recession or have the other parent in tech or another highly lucrative field.

Put another way, I think it's much easier to forge these connections if you are one of many families where both parents work full-time out of the house, and that varies by neighborhood. (My friends in DC proper are all families with two full-time working parents, though I don't know if that's the norm there or not.)[/quote]

We had a friend who had a mid-week afternoon birthday party. I had never heard such a thing, and am sad to hear it would still be a thing on the west coast

That definitely deflated my hope of the more inclusive ‘hippie’ moms of California. [/quote]

Being whiny won't get you brownie points over there. Either move on...or move back.[/quote]

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