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[quote=Anonymous]When people tell you that you're too sensitive or it's in your head, they are missing the point.  They are not married to a hypothetical person of average sensitivity.  They're married to you.  If a certain mode of communication bothers you-- such as a Valentine's Day card that implies they're not happy-- then they don't need to be in the doghouse, but they should be receptive to hearing what *would* make you happy.

It's not hard to be kind.  But people who don't want to do what would make their spouse happy because they think they have some kind of right to behave a certain way are never going to make anyone happy.

Doing the loving thing for your partner should be a joy.  It's the same in bed.  Some people like a specific kind of kiss or touch.  A good lover doesn't say "ordinary women want this other thing; the fact that you don't like it shows you are overly sensitive or picky."  A good lover says "wow, I'm glad I know you like X or Y.  I'm going to take joy in doing that to and for you and seeing you go wild."

It's the same with communication.  OP doesn't like hearing her husband is miserable.  If he's happy and tells her so, that will make her happy. So why wouldn't he? Does he value his little jokes more than he values her?

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