Reply to I married my MIL!!!

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "I married my MIL!!!"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I just realized that I married my mother-in-law.  My husband is nit-picking, nagging, criticizing human being.

Here's an example from DH's valentines day card: "I would rather be miserable with you than miserable without you."  What does that even mean?

My mother-in-law to DH just today:  "If your job appreciated you, they would pay you more."  What does that even mean?

It's like constant backhanded compliments.  It's a very unhealthy dynamic but when I point out either to DH, he has answer after answer but doesn't listen: "You are overly sensitive.  You are making a mountain out of a molehill.  My mom just loves me and wants what is best for you -- you don't get it.  Nothing is good enough for you."

This is confusing.  I am not in a bad marriage, but I am not in a good marriage.  I am going to get counseling ASAP, because my sixth sense is blazing and getting louder and louder, but DH won't go with me, because he says it is in my head.  It's not one of the three a's (addiction, abuse, affair), but I think I need to leave before I have children in this dynamic.  DH did not change after marriage, but I only met MIL twice before our wedding, although she and DH are close and speak regularly.  And, I think I just thought that he was a nerd before we got married and didn't know how to be smooth.  He had many one-night stands and shorter or long-distance relationships, so it seemed to make sense that he didn't know how to act in a relationship.  Now I get that he has trouble thinking about other people's feelings and that this dynamic started from his childhood.

I know the men on this forum tend to be harsh toward women, but I would appreciate a man's perspective.  I am not trying to man-blame.  I am just trying to understand what is happening.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics