Reply to Do you think emotionally abusive men can change?

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[quote=Anonymous]He needs outstanding therapists and needs to do a lot of work, and he can improve. There's always a chance he can lose it at any point, though, and it's a long, painful journey that you may not want to stick around for.

My husband has complex PTSD stemming from a very difficult childhood and his abusive parents. The blowing up episode is essentially a flashback, where he's a helpless child feeling overwhelmed with fear and other emotions. The littlest thing can trigger it. For a lot of men, the way they handle fear and find strength is by turning it into anger. That doesn't work out too well in relationships, though.

You can read up online about complex PTSD. Look at Pete Walker's website for insight. (He's not a local therapist, but has written a lot about the subject.)

Learning practical tools to handle the "flashbacks," practice in becoming mindful and having awareness of triggers and how to nip things in the bud, and lots of reinforcement are all part of the work he'd have to do.

He also has to internalize the concept that it's unacceptable to terrorize others with his anger.

If he examines his past, he can learn to be able to identify his triggers and his warning emotions and signs that he's about to go into flashback.[/quote]

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