Reply to How often do you (or did you) think of divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Answer: Frequently.  We've been married 11 years and together for 13 years.  In my opinion, there are things other than "happiness" to consider, which is why I haven't left.  We have a 7 and 4 year old which complicates matters deeply.  At this point, I'm not sure I (or the kids) would be better off if we separated.  I have no family in the area so I'd be struggling balancing work with the kids, which is already hard (I'm an attorney).  My kids wouldn't be able to attend the same school because I would no longer be able to afford the neighborhood on one income.  Leaving isn't worth it...at least not now.  I think this is the way with many marriages.  It's not an abusive relationship, or one in which we are mean to each other in front of the kids...I'm just so over him..[/quote]

this is me.

i even sleep in one room. dh sleeps in basement. kids dont even notice.  they will.  also an attorney who doesnt want to give up my job nor seeing my kids every day.

my dh is insensitive to the point of being mean -- kids do get that because they will say something but i dont think divorce cures it.
[/quote]

Op here - thank you for sharing.   I agree - divorce doesn’t cure DH from being who he is, but it would change the dynamic of the relationship, obviously.   And there would be no more pretense of you being ok with how things are.   Do you still “act” married to the outside world?  Go on date nights? Kiss him hello or goodbye?  Have u talked to him about what a separation would look like?   Custody arrangement?  I too work a lot and think that a situation where I was seeing the kids every couple of days for a couple of days and not living with him might provide some relief to my stress levels.

Sometimes I think about scaling back at work, but it provides me the money to contemplate independence.  [/quote]

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