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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is there a list on here because I am not seeing a lot of success stories?

My wife had an affair and we went to see  Dr. Sarah Hedlund and I regret every minute of it. I thought that the point was to stop the affair and improve the marriage, but I was in for a huge surprise. We were pretty much there to make my wife feel better about herself. At no point did she even suggest to stop contact. In fact, during the first session she said this: "It's perfectly normal to feel like you want to see him again and you probably will." After that, the Dr. was surprised to learn that my wife continued contact after three months of therapy.

If you are an expert on affairs then knowing how to read a cheater would be a necessary skill. This is only second to ending affairs. That was clearly not the focus.

If you have a cheating spouse don't waste your time with a therapist unless you know who you are dealing with. I get the feeling that folks usually attend because they have to and the therapist is just there to make an easy buck. Sometimes it's even required before a divorce, so it's just a way for a spouse that cheated to torment their partners.

Seriously, don't fall for it. [/quote]

The thing about therapy is that the people seeking therapy get to set the focus the vast majority of the time. A good therapist will ask about goals, for example. That is the point at which you speak up and say, "I want to improve our marriage and for my wife to not speak to the other man ever again." A therapist is not going to tell you what to do. They will make suggestions and provide guidance, but at the end of the day, if you wanted your wife to not talk to her AP again, it's your responsibility to communicate that to her, in therapy or out of it.

If you have a cheating spouse and you want to stay married to them, going to therapy is a good way to learn how to communicate and improve your marriage. It's not flawless and not all couples counselors are good. [b]It's pretty hard not to be more sympathetic to one party than the other.[/b] We talk about that kind of issue a lot in professional development. [/quote]

This is easy. You directly address the issues. Something like "if you want this marriage to work then you need to stop all contact. If you can't do that then you are wasting your partner's time and money." That's easy but probably not as profitable. [/quote]

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