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[quote=Anonymous]Our niece is 19, married, and having her first child. They don't have a lot of money. We've already sent them a bunch of second-hand baby gear and clothes (all unused new or like-new). We were not invited to the shower, but it was in another state and we definitely would have been asked if we were closer. I was a little surprised that we didn't at least receive a link to the registry but we had sent them a lot of stuff (albeit second-hand) and maybe they thought it was sufficient?

Today I get an e-mail from the niece, out of the blue, asking for my advice on a certain item of baby gear and including links to three options. She has never asked my advice before on anything and we don't usually communicate directly, though I have a very good relationship with one of her closest siblings, who asks for advice frequently (usually on family dynamics, never on what to buy). I add this only to add context that might reasonably explain the change in behavior, not because I want to humblebrag or anything.

If it matters, we are the only folks in the family with financial resources. Most of the family are decent, but a few treat us like the family checkbook. Our niece's mother is a major player in that second group. Her relationship with her kids is difficult and frequently strained, but the niece who asked for advice out of the blue is probably the most susceptible to her mother's "guidance."

As I'm home sick with the flu, I've nothing to do but ruminate about this odd inquiry in between Dayquil shooters and fevered naps. Should I be buying this niece one of these things she's sent me or is this a "family checkbook" situation that I should not encourage?

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