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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - thanks for all the replies so far! yes, I agree that a routine is best. I don't want things to be up in the air all the time, so I suppose a routine will fall in to place eventually. [/quote]

PP with two sets of local grandparents, realized I didn't exactly answer your Q. As for *how* we got here, my mom suggested her arrangement. Clearly it was something she had thought out. I said, great! My dad is not as proactive and can be a little awkward but loves seeing the grandkids, so at some point my stepmom said to me that they'd like to be around more, though couldn't commit to one day per week because she still works and is busy, so how did I suggest they do it? And I suggested that they could come by when their schedule permitted, as long as they checked with me to be sure the kids didn't have a conflict (which they almost never do). So, they plan a day or two in advance and it works for them.

I don't mind things being a little bit up in the air. For example, though we cook several nights per week, we don't usually put a ton of effort into meal planning, so a random night of dinner guests and/or takeout doesn't throw things off. But, we do have a Friday night routine that is fairly well set and I usually will not disrupt it and instead suggest an alternative plan.[/quote]

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