Reply to Has anyone's marriage successfully overcome domestic violence?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a DV survivor and a prosecutor who routinely handles DV cases.  The "party line" in the criminal justice system is "once an abuser, always an abuser."  I think the reality is slightly more nuanced.  I strongly believe that it's possible to have a single, minor, isolated DV incident that's truly anomalous.  By "minor," I mean something like a push or grabbing an arm roughly.  That said, if you've experienced multiple incidents, or any one incident was serious (it left real bruising, a weapon was used or threatened, the assault involved strangulation or grabbing at your throat, any comment/threat about ending your life), I don't think you can overcome that.  I've lived through it in my personal life and it will just get increasingly serious and frequent.  And regardless of how much he tries, you'll never be able to look at your partner and not see the guy who hit you because you did [insert stupid BS that upset him here].

One more thing...people on DCUM are quick to recommend anger management and therapy for perpetrators of DV.  There is no evidence that this type of treatment works.  There are real, certified DV treatment programs.  They're often called Abuser/Batterer Intervention Programs.  They're not perfect, but they're certainly more effective than individual therapy and anger management programs.  [/quote]

+1 excellent post. thank you.[/quote]

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