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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can't unring that bell. But don't ring it again. She needs to sort this out herself. [/quote]

This. I have a niece in the same situation. You have to keep your mouth shut and support the child where she is. She undoubtedly loves her parents and your negative comments are going to alienate her from you. Things don’t magically change at age 18. It takes awhile for kids to sort this sort of thing out and the answer isn’t always rejection of parents or dcognizing their faults. So if you want to be supportive, don’t speak negative of her parents. [/quote]

I know and sometimes I worry she won't leave at 18 as she they have been so controlling and abusive that she has no self confidence in herself and they have told her she will never be responsible enough to live on her own.

I got upset as they were telling her to quit school and work more. She already gives them $500 a month and they want more from her. They falsely accuse her of damaging property or breaking things and then 'charge' her for them in order to get more from her. She works about twenty hours a week already. They won't let her have her bank card or do banking without them present so they know how much money she has and they often take more than the $500. She needed money for a school project she was working on and she was very frustrated that they didn't leave her enough of her own money to pay for the project at school. I got her to speak to the guidance counselor and the school ended up agreeing she could still participate and could pay later even though it was past the payment deadline. During that conversation with her, I said a few things that I have bit my tongue about all these years.[/quote]

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