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[quote=Anonymous]Over the past several months I've become increasingly concerned about my 4yo son and his behavior.  My husband is very ADHD so I initially thought perhaps this was the issue but the more I read/research, am thinking things may be a bit more complicated.  Here are some of my concerns:

--He's a pretty rigid/inflexible kid who gets extremely upset when things aren't done exactly as he wants.  For example, a few mornings ago he lost it as we were walking out the door because I was trying to hand him his umbrella on the front porch.  He wanted me to give it to him in the house and insisted that everyone, including his sister, come back in the house until he had the umbrella in his hand.  This is just one example of a behavior we see frequently.

--He seems to have significant issues with emotional regulation, and often flies off the handle with little or no warning.  Sometimes this is just yelling but it can also involve hitting, pushing and kicking.

--When playing he is easily over-excited and has difficulty calming down. For example, when he runs around outside with friends, I often can't get him to come back in the house.  Instead, he wants me to chase him.  No amount of bribing or threatening seems to work.  (His older sister is the same way on this issue and was recently diagnosed with ADHD-combined type.)

--After a full year of weekly swim lessons, he still refuses to let go of his teacher in the water (says he doesn't want to sink).  He also talks frequently about death, which seems odd to me.  For example, he announced in the car yesterday out of the blue that he doesn't want me to die.  I have no idea where that came from.

--Seems to get "stuck" on certain things or ideas and can't let them go.  For example, when he gets a new lego set, it's a battle getting him to tear himself away.  All he wants to do is put legos together until he's done.  If he sees a toy advertised on TV and decides he wants it he will ask about (or demand) that same toy over and over again.

--Bad at transitions, in general--particularly if they aren't a part of our normal routine.

On the positive side, he's a sweet and social kid, who loves hugs and seems to get along well with others.  His preschool has reported almost no behavioral problems or issues.  Like other kids, he gets an occasional time-out.  A few days ago, he actually approached another little boy who was crying on the playground and tried to comfort him.  He's also a great, non-picky eater who will try almost anything.  His intelligence, motor skills, etc. all seem normal and his spatial skills, in particular, are fantastic.

Any thoughts on what this could be?  Advice?  And how do we go about evaluating?  A developmental pediatrician, psychiatrist, private psychologist?  Is 4 too young for a diagnosis?  I'd hate to wait 6 months for an appointment, only to be told he's too young to be evaluated.

Thanks so much

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