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[quote=Anonymous]I'm wondering if anyone has tips or commiseration for me because I just can't stop thinking about and obsessing over how badly my relationship with my mother has turned out to be. I expected her to be a helpful, pleasant grandmother and support to me as I had my own children. She couldn't wait until children were born and was eager to move closer to us to "help out". This has gone very poorly.

I am an only child and she is my only family member other than some aunts and uncles. She is constantly negative, critical, not helpful to me or DH with the grandchildren, quick to anger, and generally unpleasant to be around. She has let me down several times with big events and expenses, and has never apologized or accepted responsibility. She expects to be invited on every day trip and vacation we go on as a family. She recently said to me that she was angry my DH and I did not invite her on a recent date night! She complains that she doesn't see the grandchildren enough, yet cancels plans at the last minute because she has better offers. She also is easily overwhelmed with all of my children and lashes out at them and criticizes them for normal child behaviors.

I wake up at night and stew about how angry she makes me feel and how alone I am.  I need to move past this but am not sure how. Its been going on for at least 6 months and building steadily as our interactions and slights increase. I cannot talk to her openly about it as she becomes defensive and nasty to me, screaming, saying mean things.

Any advice? Book recommendations? I am just so tired of the BS.[/quote]

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