Reply to Please help me stop undermining my boss

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[quote=Anonymous]What is the context of the these meeting?  If I am in a meeting with my boss and executives above her, I listen and take my own notes.  I try to decipher what is being said and what is being implied but not directly said.  After the meeting I will recap with my boss t make sure I understand where we are going and if possible why - other than it being because the higher up person said so. If it am in a meeting with a customer, usually we are trying to get feedback from them or we are giving status updates.  That’s really not the time/place for big debates unless this is a brainstorming or cover pro/cons to get to a decision. If I am in a meeting with my peers, if that’s not the time place to discuss ideas and speak up, when is the right time?  Usually the lead will give everyone a chance to speak up.  If you fervently disagree with something that everyone else seems okay, you may need to either have an offline conversation with yhe lead or come back to the group with more info so we can discuss it.  There are facilitation techniques like 6 thinking hats for strructred discussion of differenr ideas.

Also, stop to think why you are speaking.  Is it to be the center of attention like the person that says they have a question but really use to show off what they know?  Are you genuinely concerned something is being missed?  If your boss already thought of it, either it is a communication thing where you weren’t in the pro/con, detailed discussion or you ar missing that it was covered or it is being left unsaid.  Often people phrase it as a question, like are we planning to take a backup?  Not we shouldn’t or should.  This allows for a discussion to come out of information you may not know, debate if it’s right for this situation, clarification, “yes it’s on the checklist” or a “thanks, I’ll add it”[/quote]

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