Reply to Family asking for help, but they're just enablers. How to help them?

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[quote=Anonymous]
I know it's hard not to pile opprobrium on the young adult, but some REALLY can't help themselves. There are many like this, want to know why?

Because their issues were not well managed (or even evaluated and diagnosed) when they were children.

My husband's nephew is like this. He grew up in an extremely dysfunctional family, never got the help he desperately needed, and has so far been diagnosed with suicidal depression and Asperger's syndrome (in another country with a different set of psychiatric standards). Personally I believe he really has severe ADHD, just like my son and husband. Runs in the family, right? And his symptoms fit, but the complexities of ADHD are not well-known in his country, sadly.
So despite a high IQ and perfect grades and SATs, he dropped out of college, and stayed home playing video games. 
Now he has a "PR job" with an internet start-up and I really hope it's real!

Be kind, and please don't think you know best and can direct his life. Keep him connected with his doctors - that's the most critical help you can give him. If it's really bipolar disorder, then he desperately needs to stay on his meds, and the problem with bipolar is that when the patient is in the manic phase, they sometimes don't believe they need treatment.[/quote]

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