Reply to What are some good rules for distancing self from sibling but trying to keep the kids on good terms?

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[quote=Anonymous]I have seen this work and not work.  When it works it is because both parties are able to co-exist in space and basically act like strangers (Would you please pass the peas?  Good morning, I hope you slept well, excuse me as I go wash up for breakfast.).  When it doesn't work well is if one or both parties either need to or feel the need to process out loud and/or explain the situation to all and sundry.

With one person I know she says she kept pretending her sister was someone at work on the compensation committee and she needs to be polite but that's it.  The sister wasn't/isn't on board and keeps trying to hash it out but isn't receptive to her responses so my friend basically grey rocks now.  She has found that she can be quite successful in large groups (harder in small groups) to avoid having to have any interaction with her sister.  Any communication is through one of the children.  She has worked hard to keep it from being manipulative or appearing to be passive aggressive to the children so her comments to the children are always kind as in "Here, take this to your mom, I bet she'd love this lemonade on a hot day".

It sounds like you're about halfway to peaceful coexistence without much interaction, OP.  If you're comfortable with the status quo then keep on keeping on.  Escalating, either by initiating a conversation or by going silo, has consequences.  If you're not happy with your status quo then I think those are the only two other options you have.[/quote]

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