Reply to What are some good rules for distancing self from sibling but trying to keep the kids on good terms?

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[quote=Anonymous]For various reasons, my sister and I just no longer get along and I really don't think it's repairable.  Long story short, we have tried, but we have fallen into the same old behavior traps that get on one another's nerves and we don't trust one another.  We don't really like one another anymore, either.

However, we are both on board with keeping up a friendly appearance and letting her almost teenage kids be on good terms with my elementary school kids.

Has anyone else done this?  Gotten together for family events like vacations with siblings they mostly don't like, but keep up appearances for the kids sake?  I've of course sucked it up in public before when she has pushed my buttons and I've wanted to say something about it but haven't, so I guess it's not that much of a stretch.

We share two other siblings that we are both on good terms with who basically act like a middleman for correspondence and a buffer for our angry feelings about one another.  I have no idea what my sister says to them about me, but I say next to nothing to them about her.

If anyone else does this, have they been able to keep up the facade for any period of time?  Have the kids noticed anything?  I'm assuming they might get to a certain age where they notice things are not quite right ... but maybe that's better than total estrangement from their cousins whom they love.  If I really can't repair the relationship -- and believe me, I cannot -- is this about the best option left?

And, any suggestions, like short family vacations work out okay but for God's sake stay out of one another's houses, or nothing longer than 3 days together, etc.  Thanks![/quote]

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