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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is a very tough situation.

I was the child in this situation. I think it’s very noble that you are considering this route because as a parent I know this would kill me to have to do. This is what my dad eventually chose. At a certain point, my mom had turned us against him so absolutely that he could do NOTHING right (example-he sent balloons for my sister’s 8th birthday. My mom has us all worked up/in a frenzy believing that our dad sent the balloons in order to ruin my sister’s birthday, and she spent most of the day crying, supposedly because of my horrible dad when of course it was my mom who was manufacturing all the drama).

When my dad stopped trying, my life became more peaceful and less stressful for sure.

At the same time, we refused any contact with him and it wasn’t until my late 20s that I reached out to him. We have a good relationship now but it’s taken over 5 years of work.

I would suggest you truly do ANYTHING that it takes to have a relationship with your kids on their terms. Whatever they want or allow is what you do. And if they come to a point where they refuse all contact, please at least send cards for their birthdays and Christmas.

Your children are suffering. This experience of parental alienation is the greatest sorrow of my life. Whatever you do, try to make it seem like you hold your children in high regard. Don’t make them wrong for believing their mother. It only creates more suffering for them. They will hopefully sort it out someday, but it will take a long time and it won’t be because of you “telling them the real story” unless they ask you questions.[/quote]

Ever think of the suffering your Dad went through?  Not just the kids suffer.  I don't agree with putting the responsibility on the kids to choose as they are put in a position like you were to choose mom and will pull away and stay away to make mom happy.

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