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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't see why you can't, but it will take some tough work on both your parts. You describe yourself as a "smooth sailing kind of couple – we get along very well, rarely argue or fight." That, I suspect is part of the problem. You were both so invested in keeping the peace and being one of those couples who just gets along and never fights that you didn't talk about a big issue that was undermining your marriage, your lack of intimacy. Further, when you use that word in your post, it sounds like you're referring to sexual intimacy, but I suspect it applies more broadly to include emotional intimacy as well. If you don't feel safe talking to each other about the things that are upsetting you, that's a pretty big wall to the kind of deeper emotional connection you need for a truly happy marriage.

I realize that all sounds discouraging, but it shouldn't be. Those are issues you can fix/improve if you're both committed to it and willing to do the uncomfortable work to make it happen. Just go into it knowing that it's going to be hard and uncomfortable at times and that you might feel worse before you feel better so it doesn't surprise you and make you think it's hopeless.[/quote]

They have 2 kids under 8.  It is understandable that intimacy, both emotional and physical, fell to the wayside for awhile.   It can get better as the kids are older especially because they are both willing to work on it and go to therapy.

OP, I would look at this as a wake up call.  It sounds like your husband was unhappy about the lack of intimacy in your marriage and went to an old friend.  But he confessed to you, broke off contact with the OW, and wants to make amends.

If you can find it in your heart (and through therapy) to forgive your husband, your marriage can survive this and come back stronger.  Best wishes to you![/quote]

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