Reply to Missing DC (well, MoCo) ... move back?

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm the primary breadwinner in my family, married to a SAHD.  We are both MoCo public alums and moved back to the area with our first DC.  Fast forward 8 years, we have two kids, comfortable house in Silver Spring, love our local public, but I got a promotion that moves us out of state.  I figure we'd recreate things here, find a new community, save some money, maybe even stick it out until both kids go to college, but there never was a long term plan to retire here.

I have to share specifics to explain why the current situation is difficult and I feel really isolated and alone.  Sorry this is long - I don't really have a lot of people I can talk to about it who aren't deeply invested in the outcome.  All of the grandparents either live in the DC area of have deep ties to the DC area and so would prefer us to be there.

1) I'm a school administrator and my kids go to my school.  Seeing them each day is awesome, however this also means whenever I'm at a social function I am still, essentially, working.  It also means that I have to deal with disciplinary issues that involve my kids friends.  All of these issues were known changes (kids didn't use to go to my school) going in to the new location, but they are challenges.
2) I assumed we would find a new church community up here where I could compensate for the work related challenges and make some connections with other adults.  This hasn't panned out - we're on church #3 and still haven't found a place that fits (not enough kids my kids' age, congregants all much older, too long a drive, stuff like that).  I realize this one I could potentially work harder at, but I haven't found a place that has really welcomed us, which has been hard - church was big in our lives in MD.
3) DH and the kids like the slower pace where we are now in a more rural-suburban area.  I have discovered I miss the hustle and bustle of the broader DC area - an urban suburbia.
4) My job transition has been hard - I made some assumptions about similarities between my old employer and my current one that proved to be inaccurate.  I also had information withheld from me until I started the new job that would have tipped me off to some ways in which my current employer mismanages things.  There are some bright spots, but overall I am not in love with the school where I work.
5) My work challenges are made doubly hard by the fact my family is supporting us by helping pay the tuition for both my kids to attend a school that is not as fantastic as I thought it was.  We would never have moved here for the local publics.  They are not bad but also nothing to write home about.  We can only get enough family help to pay for private if it's a place I work and therefore get tuition remission.  Also, my school has a more diverse student population than our local publics, which is really important to me.

So ... if we were back in DC potentially #1, 2 and 5 would still be in play, but there are many more privates so changing jobs would be an option, MoCo publics are exceptional and would be a strong option, and I'd have friends that we already know and a strong church community to reintegrate in to.  I could likely get a similar job and even if I liked it as little as I like my current one, at least I know I'd have outside community to life me up.

But ... we only moved in the summer of 2015, the kids have new friends, they've integrated into new sports leagues (some of which I don't think exist in MoCo), and moving and selling a home is a huge pain in the butt.  DH and I both wish I liked my job more and had been able to find connections.  I'm still trying - have just joined a sports league, but my work has long hours and I want to see the kids.

Has anyone been in a similar situation?  Should I give it more time?  DC #1 is in 6th grade this year and #2 is in 3rd grade, so I feel like it's move within the next 2-4 years or stick it out for a lot longer.  I miss having friends and having a church community that welcomes me - makes me sad on pretty much a daily basis, but I also don't want to make a mistake that will negatively impact my kids.[/quote]

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