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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think you sound like a control freak at all. I understand not wanting your child to be around people who behave like them.

Although I would encourage you to cut ties with them. you will need to do this slowly and carefully. You need to respect and understand your DH's loyalty and commitment to his sister. They are siblings and he needs to honor that, event with the bad behavior. You need to talk with your DH about all of this, if you haven't already. Let him know that you feel like you need a breather from too much contact with her, but you also understand his need to continue. The best approach may be to slowly find yourself too busy too much each week (i.e. appointments, work, etc.). Take up a new hobby if you need to in order to limit your time to spend with them. You will still need to see them sometimes, but over some time you can gradually make that less. Doing it subtly will be less hurtful and everyone will get used to the new normal without rocking the boat completely. The limited contact will also make it easier to handle them when you do need to see them.

Good luck![/quote]

I think how I came across as controlling was when I said I wanted DH to consider therapy. I only say this because having a sibling like this can take a toll and I feel he could use some guidance in navigating that relationship without sacrificing his needs and boundaries.[/quote]

I still don't see the controlling aspect. You're a wife expressing concern for your husband - that's what you should do! If you gave him an ultimatum that you will leave or something if he doesn't get therapy that would be controlling (along with shitty and unproductive...), but you didn't say that. I think you're right that he needs therapy. Most of the time people have a hard time recognizing poor behavior in their family, especially if they have grown up around it and come to see it as normal. Keep encouraging your husband. Don't push and don't continue if he refuses. Work on getting him to understand the negative affects her behavior has on the family and, specifically on him.[/quote]

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