Reply to How to get over anger at DH

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In all of the fighting and apologizing, did you guys actually discuss the source of your anger and resentment in a substantive way, or did the focus shift entirely to how you blew up at him?[/quote]

No, he gets defensive for the things I point out that I am angry and resentful about.  Then it shifts to me screwing up. [/quote]

The first thing you need to realize is that while you might have anger and resentment towards him for a laundry list of reasons, he very likely feels anger and resentment towards you for a laundry list of reasons. It takes two to sustain a healthy marriage. Communication is key since nobody is a mind reader. But when you dish it out, you need to be prepared to take his criticism as well. That's why it's important to speak nicely and with love, right?

It really is as simple as treating others the way you want to be treated.

Hopefully your therapist will explain this to you rather than blame everything on your spouse. It's never that simple. I'm sure you annoy your spouse, too. [/quote]

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