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[quote=Anonymous]This is 11:28, OP.
Adding to above -- OP, if they are the types to go ahead and book flights to come see you without confirming, DH needs to be sure they know visits are not happening. Did they and he discuss some future visit at any point during the holiday stay? Even tangentially? Do they expect to come, for instance, in the spring or summer this year, maybe if they've done so in previous years? I would want to be sure they understood not to book anything or turn up. "....It's regrettable that you felt you couldn't speak to me or tell me in advance. Please use this e-mail....Also, we discussed your coming to visit again in the summer this year, but we feel another visit is not good for either you or us, so please don't make travel plans...." 
OP, I hope you can help DH handle this in a way that ensures he has the power and takes the initiative. He needs to feel that you're supporting him but not that you are somehow forcing him to cut them off. I hope he sees for himself how toxic they were over this visit and that he can let go of contact. THat's why a professional like a counselor or therapist could help him make the break and stop caring what they think, feel or do.[/quote]

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