Reply to How much to accommodate DS's mental health issues

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think an important part of the teenage years for young people with disabilities is teaching them to advocate for what they need.

I'd explain the disability preboarding process to him, and then ask him if he thinks it would make a difference.  If he thinks so, then I'd have him approach the desk and ask for the preboarding pass, and then choose who boards early with him. [/quote]

Not OP, but my son could never manage his anxiety well enough to request the preboarding passes. I’d pay $15 for two of us and let him get settled. Not sure I’d pay for everyone. [/quote]

PP here, fair enough.  The thing about anxiety is how individualized it is.  My kid has devastating anxiety about somethings, and yet other things, like flying, don't phase him at all.   Most of his anxiety is about interactions with people he knows well enough to care about their perceptions of him, so talking to strangers is easy.  I shouldn't have phrased my suggestion as the only way, but just as one idea.

I'll still say that I'd take advantage of the free preboarding.  Disability accommodations are there for situations exactly like this, and people with mental illness deserve the ability to use them without fear or shame, just like people with other disabilities. I also think that the difference between preboarding, when there's only a few people on the plane and the flight attendants are letting you have a little more time, and the A tickets you purchase, which mean more choice but no less rush, has the potential to make a huge difference.  If asking for the preboard meant that I needed to be the one to approach and advocate, with my kid at my side, or across the room with their other parent watching, I'd try and make it happen.

I'd also try, to whatever degree was possible, to make the use the accommodation, and the process of advocating for it, transparent to my child.  If that was too much in the moment, while he was also dealing with the anxiety about the flight, I might have a conversation before or after.  I recognize, however that the degree to which that's possible varies according to the needs of the child. [/quote]

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