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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, have you though that how you characterize one family vs another may be a difference of extrovert ("animated and talkitive") vs introverted ("closed and depressed").

I don't mean the introverts are depressed, but that people who are extroverted sometimes think there's something wrong with introverts.  Maybe think about how you would ideally celebrate the holidays as an introvert and try to institute changes from there rather than comparing it to an extroverted holiday.[/quote]

+1. I'm tired of b the narrative that being loud and overating is somehow normal but being quiet and a little reserved is wrong.[/quote]

A whole Christmas celebration where people, especially the hosts, sit around not saying a word to one another and playing on their phones like a bunch of sullen teenagers is weird and wrong.

If you are that introverted, do not host. Ask one of your more outgoing family members to host.

Christmas at my MILs was excrutiating. She is crabby and controlling, they have little conversation, and sports or sports talk shows were on all day long (without the boisterous fun that usually comes with sports watching households).  She had unrealistic memories of how children behaved, which made the kids walk on eggshells and my SIL feel judged.  When my oldest was nursing as an infant, she would get very hurt feelings that he was not drinking out of a bottle and preferred me when he was hungry or trying to sleep.

Finally, Christmas hosting got too much for her due to health issues and we switched to SILs house. It was like a light switched. Holidays are so much more fun now, and not just because there are three more kids in the mix. Everything is relaxed and festive. Lots of laughter and bustling. MIL still gets stressed by noise and too much action/conversation, but she is able to handle it for a few hours and leave when it gets to be too much. She seems like she is having a better time now too.

[b]If you are so introverted that normal hosting and conversation is painful, then pass the torch to someone else. You will probably enjoy the holidays so much more, as will your guests.[/b][/quote]

OP here.  I did not realize that this thread evolved into a debate, nor did I intend it to. As for the group at hand, the example of my introverted relative asking my extroverted relative to sit next to her, only for the extroverted relative to say no vehemenently, was a strange sight to witness.  IMO, it was also hurtful.  I know that I don't speak for everyone.  But I am of this PPs opinion, that if it is so painful to get together for two hours, talk a bit (not a lot, but make a slight effort, myself included), and you insist on having the television on non stop through dinner, looking at your phones constantly, and judging the other side of personality (which I did not do at the time, but admit I might be doing it here, on an anon forum), then why bother getting together at all?  Is that really any kind of "celebration", or at that point, is the host just doing it for some odd bragging rights?  If you see each other once or twice per year, and are not talking or catching up, even a little bit, is that not odd? I am mostly an introvert, but I make the effort for two hours, because I know it is important to some of the people there.  I don't understand showing up someplace, only to act like a sullen teenager. What is the point? I am asking in all seriousness.  I am not intending to provoke hostile responses. [/quote]

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