Reply to Two sides: One family animated and talkative, another family closed and depressed

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, have you though that how you characterize one family vs another may be a difference of extrovert ("animated and talkitive") vs introverted ("closed and depressed").

I don't mean the introverts are depressed, but that people who are extroverted sometimes think there's something wrong with introverts.  Maybe think about how you would ideally celebrate the holidays as an introvert and try to institute changes from there rather than comparing it to an extroverted holiday.[/quote]

+1. I'm tired of b the narrative that being loud and overating is somehow normal but being quiet and a little reserved is wrong.[/quote]

A whole Christmas celebration where people, especially the hosts, sit around not saying a word to one another and playing on their phones like a bunch of sullen teenagers is weird and wrong.

If you are that introverted, do not host. Ask one of your more outgoing family members to host.

Christmas at my MILs was excrutiating. She is crabby and controlling, they have little conversation, and sports or sports talk shows were on all day long (without the boisterous fun that usually comes with sports watching households).  She had unrealistic memories of how children behaved, which made the kids walk on eggshells and my SIL feel judged.  When my oldest was nursing as an infant, she would get very hurt feelings that he was not drinking out of a bottle and preferred me when he was hungry or trying to sleep.

Finally, Christmas hosting got too much for her due to health issues and we switched to SILs house. It was like a light switched. Holidays are so much more fun now, and not just because there are three more kids in the mix. Everything is relaxed and festive. Lots of laughter and bustling. MIL still gets stressed by noise and too much action/conversation, but she is able to handle it for a few hours and leave when it gets to be too much. She seems like she is having a better time now too.

If you are so introverted that normal hosting and conversation is painful, then pass the torch to someone else. You will probably enjoy the holidays so much more, as will your guests.[/quote]

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